i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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