you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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