Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
