i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
