Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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