My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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