just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
