That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
