You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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