let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
