I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
