I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
