i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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