my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
