Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
How does one acquire holy water?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize