Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
