You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I checked into jail on foursquare
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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