i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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