Betty ford says i'm here all night
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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