I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
