I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
