I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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