This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
