She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
