I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
