I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
