we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
