i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
