Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
