You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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