another moral hangover. fuck.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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