Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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