What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize