its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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