God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
