i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize