just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
