Can Purell be used as lube?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
