Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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