When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize