She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
don't judge my taste in strippers
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
