So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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