I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
