You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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