You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
