God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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