He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
