areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
