I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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