I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
