I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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