Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
