Little spoons don't ask big questions
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
