I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
