Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
