let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
