Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
