I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
