everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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