They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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