Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
